After Keira was born I was certain motherhood cured my insomnia woes. There's no better cure then waking up in the middle of the night to nurse your child, or so I thought. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Keira started sleeping through the night at about 3 months old, and slowly, every so slowly, my insomnia started to creep back into my life.
Before Keira was born, my doctor at the time prescribed Ambien. While the pill got me to sleep rather quickly, I didn't find the sleep very satisfying. Either way, I didn't want to go down that road again, especially in light of recent horror stories I've heard about the drug. For this reason, I've tried very hard to combat it naturally.
It's lonely at 3AM in the morning, but I'm not alone. I am one of the 60 million who suffer from insomnia in this country. I've dealt with it off and on since college. Most episodes last a day or two and then my sleep pattern eventually corrects itself, however, it did not happen this time around.
The second week, which was this past work week, however, I barely made it. This probably goes without saying, but 3 hours a night is NOT enough to get you through 8 hour work days, plus my nightly home duties that includes cooking dinner and being a mommy to a very active young girl.
This is how it went:
Sunday: Fell asleep after mid-night, but not too bad considering the week before.
Monday: I took two benadryl, to help with itching from mosquito bites and some melatonin and still didn't fall asleep until 3.
Tuesday: Drowsy from the benedryl, I'm sure I did and said some really strange things at work and vowed not to do that again. At night I took an over-the-counter sleeping pill given to me by a friend who swore it would knock me out. I took it and melatonin and didn't fall asleep until 3 again! The night involved a call to my dad, some praying and some unfortunate cursing.
Wednesday: By 7:30 in the morning, I was on the road headed towards Furman University for a client golf tournament. During the drive down, I decided, enough was enough. I tried to pull it together, but I could not deny that my eyes were dark, my thoughts broken, my temper a little short... my entire body and soul had finally met its limit. I was past EXHAUSTED.
In between courting clients with candy and drinks on the golf course, I put a call into my doctor's office. Forget going natural, I needed some help! Several calls later, the nurse told me there would be a prescription waiting for me at CVS when I returned. She didn't say exactly what would be waiting for me, but her promise was enough to give me some relief and hope. While I was having a great time, I longed for the day to be over! The drive back up the mountain was a little scary and more affirmation that I was doing the right thing in asking for some "unnatural" help. Thankfully, I had a co-worker with me to keep me talking and occupied. I was never so happy and relieved to see our exit.
Ryan picked up my prescription. Trazodone. A little skeptical, I Googled it as soon as I opened my little bag from CVS. It's actually an antidepressant, often used to help with sleep. Unlike Ambien, it's not a controlled substance. It's non-addictive and doesn't come with the scary side affects, like sleepwalking, cooking or driving. Also, it's generic and therefore very cheap. Just $3, as compared to $15 or more we've paid for other medicine.
I took my first pill at 9:30 that night. Unlike Ambien it didn't knock me out right away. I have to say, I was a little disappointed. It also, made my nose feel stuffy. I had breathe through my mouth! Was this a side affect? Still, I fell asleep at about midnight. It was progress and I was thankful!
Thursday: I was still exhausted but the night sleep did give me enough energy to make it through the day. The nurse called me and assured me that trazodone was not a miracle drug and it would take a couple days before I saw any results. Ah, now it all makes sense! I was grateful for the call. That night I took another pill. No stuffiness this time around and I actually fell asleep rather quickly. UNFORTUNATELY, Dutchie got spooked and barked, waking me up. Ryan was out with some friends, so I got spooked too. I thought we had an intruder! Then as I was dozing off, the alarm went off, mysteriously! What can I say, the odds were against me. That was it... I was up and angry (the cursing made a comeback) and didn't fall back asleep again until 2:30AM.
Friday: It was one of the hardest days to get through. I was fatigued! My eyes and head were heavy, my stomach nauseous. I was hopeful, however, because the pill worked better than the night before as the nurse had promised. It got me to sleep, now I just needed to stay asleep!!! Fast forward through my foggy day to last night. I took the pill at 9PM and got in bed to read. I was asleep by 10 and stayed asleep! I'm happy to say that I finally got my first full night's sleep of rest in almost two weeks! Praise God!!!
This morning I felt great! By the end of the day, however, I hit a wall. On the way back from a friend's house my stomach turned and felt light headed and dizzy. I quickly remembered that one night's rest would not be enough to recover from a month of sleeplessness. One step at a time, one night at a time, I'm confident it will get better.
If you are going through something similar, I hope my story can be of some encouragement to you. I learned this week that insomnia is treatable after all. You don't have to do it alone! I know my fight isn't over but thanks to the help of my physician, I feel like I'm finally heading in the right direction.
My goal now is to focus on getting healthy. It took me awhile to realize it, but I haven't been healthy in a while. Consistent sleep will lead to more energy and more energy will result in the ability to get back to working out. If I'm working out and eating right, I'll better my overall physical health. And when I'm healthy, I can be a much better wife and mom, not to mention a better employee at work. So here's to a full night sleep, the start of it all, and to a future better, livelier, healthier me. I can't wait to be her!
Good night, everyone.
Unfortunately, melatonin, Nyquil, Unisom, and Benadryl don't work for me. I have tried working out. The ideal workout time for me is before work. Of course, if I don't fall asleep until 3AM there's no way I'm going to wake up at 5:40 to exercise. So I tried moving my workout to after I put Keira to bed at 8pm. That didn't work either. It just pumped me up! Add to that, reading, praying and watching senseless TV. While they all made me drowsy, they did nothing to get me over the bridge into dreamland.
It's lonely at 3AM in the morning, but I'm not alone. I am one of the 60 million who suffer from insomnia in this country. I've dealt with it off and on since college. Most episodes last a day or two and then my sleep pattern eventually corrects itself, however, it did not happen this time around.
My insomnia flared up a little less than a month ago, and has come to a head the past two weeks. Despite the efforts I stated above, almost every night for two weeks straight, I've fallen asleep between 2:30 and 3:30AM, sometimes after Ryan's gotten up for work. The rest is short lived. I'm up 7AM at the latest to get to work myself. I handled it okay... the first week. I figured my body knows how much sleep it needs. I tried to convince myself that perhaps 3 hours a night is sufficient for me.
The second week, which was this past work week, however, I barely made it. This probably goes without saying, but 3 hours a night is NOT enough to get you through 8 hour work days, plus my nightly home duties that includes cooking dinner and being a mommy to a very active young girl.
This is how it went:
Sunday: Fell asleep after mid-night, but not too bad considering the week before.
Monday: I took two benadryl, to help with itching from mosquito bites and some melatonin and still didn't fall asleep until 3.
Tuesday: Drowsy from the benedryl, I'm sure I did and said some really strange things at work and vowed not to do that again. At night I took an over-the-counter sleeping pill given to me by a friend who swore it would knock me out. I took it and melatonin and didn't fall asleep until 3 again! The night involved a call to my dad, some praying and some unfortunate cursing.
Wednesday: By 7:30 in the morning, I was on the road headed towards Furman University for a client golf tournament. During the drive down, I decided, enough was enough. I tried to pull it together, but I could not deny that my eyes were dark, my thoughts broken, my temper a little short... my entire body and soul had finally met its limit. I was past EXHAUSTED.
In between courting clients with candy and drinks on the golf course, I put a call into my doctor's office. Forget going natural, I needed some help! Several calls later, the nurse told me there would be a prescription waiting for me at CVS when I returned. She didn't say exactly what would be waiting for me, but her promise was enough to give me some relief and hope. While I was having a great time, I longed for the day to be over! The drive back up the mountain was a little scary and more affirmation that I was doing the right thing in asking for some "unnatural" help. Thankfully, I had a co-worker with me to keep me talking and occupied. I was never so happy and relieved to see our exit.
Ryan picked up my prescription. Trazodone. A little skeptical, I Googled it as soon as I opened my little bag from CVS. It's actually an antidepressant, often used to help with sleep. Unlike Ambien, it's not a controlled substance. It's non-addictive and doesn't come with the scary side affects, like sleepwalking, cooking or driving. Also, it's generic and therefore very cheap. Just $3, as compared to $15 or more we've paid for other medicine.
I took my first pill at 9:30 that night. Unlike Ambien it didn't knock me out right away. I have to say, I was a little disappointed. It also, made my nose feel stuffy. I had breathe through my mouth! Was this a side affect? Still, I fell asleep at about midnight. It was progress and I was thankful!
Thursday: I was still exhausted but the night sleep did give me enough energy to make it through the day. The nurse called me and assured me that trazodone was not a miracle drug and it would take a couple days before I saw any results. Ah, now it all makes sense! I was grateful for the call. That night I took another pill. No stuffiness this time around and I actually fell asleep rather quickly. UNFORTUNATELY, Dutchie got spooked and barked, waking me up. Ryan was out with some friends, so I got spooked too. I thought we had an intruder! Then as I was dozing off, the alarm went off, mysteriously! What can I say, the odds were against me. That was it... I was up and angry (the cursing made a comeback) and didn't fall back asleep again until 2:30AM.
Friday: It was one of the hardest days to get through. I was fatigued! My eyes and head were heavy, my stomach nauseous. I was hopeful, however, because the pill worked better than the night before as the nurse had promised. It got me to sleep, now I just needed to stay asleep!!! Fast forward through my foggy day to last night. I took the pill at 9PM and got in bed to read. I was asleep by 10 and stayed asleep! I'm happy to say that I finally got my first full night's sleep of rest in almost two weeks! Praise God!!!
This morning I felt great! By the end of the day, however, I hit a wall. On the way back from a friend's house my stomach turned and felt light headed and dizzy. I quickly remembered that one night's rest would not be enough to recover from a month of sleeplessness. One step at a time, one night at a time, I'm confident it will get better.
If you are going through something similar, I hope my story can be of some encouragement to you. I learned this week that insomnia is treatable after all. You don't have to do it alone! I know my fight isn't over but thanks to the help of my physician, I feel like I'm finally heading in the right direction.
My goal now is to focus on getting healthy. It took me awhile to realize it, but I haven't been healthy in a while. Consistent sleep will lead to more energy and more energy will result in the ability to get back to working out. If I'm working out and eating right, I'll better my overall physical health. And when I'm healthy, I can be a much better wife and mom, not to mention a better employee at work. So here's to a full night sleep, the start of it all, and to a future better, livelier, healthier me. I can't wait to be her!
Good night, everyone.
First, you are a great writer Estee, second, I wish I could snap my fingers and take the insomnia away from you...., I do have another thing that might be able to help - neurofeedback - I can tell you more at work if you are interested whenever you have a minute.
ReplyDeleteThanks Joe! And yes, I am very interested. I'll come see you tomorrow.
ReplyDelete